More FAQs

3. Why do I need a doula if I have a partner?

It is very common now for men to be present at the birth of their children and many will describe it as an incredible moment they wouldn't have missed. With the right antenatal preparation and information men feel well prepared to provide support to their labouring partners. However, some men really would prefer not to be there or worry they might not be able to provide the support she needs. Some may be squeamish, others may work a long way from home and worry they won't get back in time and others may think that they won't cope seeing their loved one in pain and feeling unable to help. If the couple live away from other family members the father will often choose to stay at home and look after older siblings while the mother transfers to hospital.

Research has shown that labouring women benefit from continuous support during labour and childbirth (check out the tab) but this may not necessarily be from their partners. More and more women are turning to the support of a trained doula to attend to them at this precious time. It's important that they choose a doula they feel they can trust and build a rapport with. The mother needs to feel able to be herself completely. Doula's are very used to seeing women in labour, are familiar with the sounds they make, know when to step in and when to step back and are unfazed by nudity, vomit, amniotic fluid, urine and poo! It never ceases to amaze me how worked up women get about pooing in labour - something that is very common and seen as an encouraging sign by the midwives as it means the baby is moving down the birth canal. Many are so concerned about their partners seeing them in this "undignified" postion that they actually hold back and delay the birth of their baby. A few encouraging words at the right moment can make all the difference.

4. Why do we need antenatal education? Haven't women been giving birth for centuries??

Yes of course they have! But the lifestyles we lead, particuarly in this country, means we are often living away from our mothers, sisters, aunts etc and women give birth "in secret" behind closed doors. The majority of the birth stories you do hear are horror stories that benefit no-one except the story teller! Birth is perceived as something to be feared; an unfortunate necessity to be endured in order to produce offspring, and something that requires a great deal of pain relief and bad language to survive. This is such a shame because giving birth is a woman's birth right - her "rite of passage". When a baby is born, so is a mother and how much better would it be if that mother had some idea of what to expect before the event? Antenatal education gives women (and their partners) the opportunity to explore the miracle that their bodies are nurturing and the belief that they were designed to birth their babies. However, birth cannot be planned - there are no absolutes. But with the right information and support it can be enjoyed rather than endured.